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become a member or a volunteer

Become a member/volunteer

Want to become a member?

Send an email to

  • Full legal name, including middle name

  • Date of birth

  • FetLife/ Club Name

  • Preferred Name (the name people will call you at the space, this can be your legal name, Fetlife name, or any name you choose)

  • Indicate if you know a member who will vouch for you or if you will need to set up a face-to-face meeting. If you have days/times you’re available, please include those so we may schedule you as soon as possible.

We ask for your legal name and information not to get involved in your business but to be as diligent as possible in ensuring the safety of all members. We do this for every member regardless of if we’ve met you or not.


Where is your legal name kept?

  • Email. Only Sweet Spot Films has access to read it. One of us will do a records search in various state databases and look for violent offenses, protective orders, theft, and other criminal behaviors. We may need you to provide previous legal names, dates of birth, or additional information to assist in this search.

  • Member database. This allows us to check you in for parties and events. In the database, we ONLY keep your legal first and last initial, not your full legal name. We will also add your Fetlife name and email to differentiate John D “super dom” from John D “super sub.” If your email is your legal name, you may want to use a different email address. We use this information to track trends and see which events are more popular than others to try to provide more of what you love and less of what you don’t.

  • Signed membership waivers. These are kept locked up away from the space.

What if there is an issue in the records checks, but I’m a good person?

  • We will ask you about it. If you have an evil twin, we will work together to prove it is not you. If you end up being the evil twin, we’re sorry, but you won’t be allowed to attend. We take each case on its own merits and believe that a mistake in the past does not necessarily mean you are a terrible person. It is best to remember that our first goal is to provide a safe place for our members and not necessarily a place everyone can play.

How often are records checks going to be done?

  • We plan on performing a records check on every member at the renewal of each membership. If you’ve been a terrible human since our last check, you will not have continued membership.

Why do I need to provide a reference

  • We ask you for a reference because this helps us make sure you’re a natural person and people enjoy spending time with you at lifestyle events. Sometimes you may provide a connection because you feel like they know you, or maybe you’ve met them at a party, but the person does not remember you or does not feel like they know you well enough to stake their membership on your behavior. In cases where a reference cannot be verified, or you are new and do not have a reference, we will ask for a face-to-face meeting before giving you access. Sometimes you may provide a reference, and our staff members may not know that person, requiring us to request a face-to-face meeting.

What is a face-to-face meeting/vetting?

  • This is a casual conversation in which we check your ID so we know you are the same person we did a record check on and then chat about your experience and what you hope to experience in the future. Based on that meeting, references, and the records search, we may say welcome, and your member number is __. We may also suggest you spend more time in the community learning about the lifestyle, attending munches, and chatting with people on Fet. This isn’t because we have some god complex, but again it is to preserve the safety of our members. Most likely, after you’ve spent some time getting to know us and the community outside of the play space, we will accept you as a member and then look back and laugh about the day we didn’t know each other.

What if your friend is astonished and you want to bring them one night?

  • While we are glad you’re excited to share your experiences with others and bring them, they must go through the vettings just like everyone else. Staff members were vetted, our partners were vetted, and people we have known in the community for years were vetted, so your excellent friend doesn’t get a pass just because they show up with you one night. We will turn them away at the door, so please make sure they have been vetted first to prevent disappointment. Members who bring an unvetted guest with them may have their membership suspended for up to three months.

What if I am from out of town and I don’t have any references?

  • Please let us know which party you plan to attend, and we will try to meet with you on the day of the party. Please be aware a meeting does not guarantee you will be allowed to participate in the party.

We appreciate your patience through the vetting process and hope that you understand the lengths we are going to attempt to provide a safer place to play.

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